GROUP DATE

Yes, we were part of a "group date" -- last week's office outing to wakeboarding country Lago de Oro, Calatagan, Batangas.


a boat by the mangrove
Photo: J's


I'm J's favorite model/subject (blush! blush!).
That's him taking my picture. A scene captured by Rolly.


Me by the South China Sea
Photo: Rolly's


Our margherita pizza sunset date.
Photo: J's


I'll try wakeboarding one day soon...
Photo: J's

DAVAO DELIGHTS

We recently spent a four-day weekend in Davao for my college friend's wedding. It was my first time and J's second visit in the city (he has climbed Mt. Apo, the country’s highest mountain).

The following won’t make it to my list of Davao Delights: the weather (too humid that even the locals agree, iba na ang init ngayon); the infamous local fruit durian (not even as a candy, ice cream or shake); the seafood did not wow me (they were OK); the suha (one vendor sold me dry, bland pomelos – I feel cheated).

Delight #1: Couple Time!
We'll always love long weekends, vacations of whatever shape & form. This picture was taken right after L & F's wedding ceremony where we stood as cord sponsors.

**My dress got so many raves!

Another proof that you need not spend much to look stylish!

Nasa nagdadala yan.

Delight #2: A Well-Deserved Break
After a very stressful project (been on it for 5 months!), I knew I needed a break. My now too tired body, my too toxic mind, my very weary soul was yearning for some time away from everything. I needed to live my own press release – Love Life!

**Babu Santa, Samal

Delight #3: Love Nature
Even if I failed to snorkel (was too scared!), I still loved the sights, sounds and smell of the Samal island-hopping. This is the Wishing Island. Guess what I wished for!

Delight #4: Love Friends
My dear friends from UP. Most of us have been together for 15 years!

**Liway, Alwin, Grace, Les & Flo, Moi & Coy, me

Delight #5: Love my French Experience
We had a French cheese & wine party while island hopping in Samal. L & F had more than 20 French guests who flew in for the wedding and brought treats from France – bon appetit!

Delight #6: Love Pinoy Hospitality
The French were so vocal about how much they’re amazed and touched by L’s family’s generosity & hospitality. Iba talaga ang Pinoy!

Delight #7: Love Food Trips
Thumbs Up for Davao's very affordable meals (everything is almost 50% less than Manila's price!). Our faves: Blu Gre café (Their cheese rolls and oatmeal dessert are divine!); the Lechon Cebu from the wedding reception (Very tender & flavorful!); Claude’s (Promising! But since we wanted to have something light, we only tried the schublig – yummy! The Red Pomelo juice was unfortunately unavailable); Majid's Kebab (Yummy and very cheap!).

Top of the list: the island-hopping lunch picnic (pancit canton, fried chicken, fresh lumpia, etc.) and the home-cooked Sunday dinner at the Casiano's (adobo, seafood inihaw, etc.) There's nothing like simple lutong-bahay prepared with love.

**Davao Tuna, Chicken Inasal, Balbacua at Banok's

NO KIDDING!

The future is no laughing matter. And yet very few seem to understand why we are childless by choice.

J and I don't have the heart to gamble on our child's future. Unless we can promise him or her the world he or she deserves, we're not taking chances.

Our child deserves better, see the scary statistics at the end of my entry (warning: it's not for the faint of heart).

We've taken the road less traveled. It's a rough road that's often marked by people's discrimination, insults, suspicions, pushy questions, unsolicited advice, stupid world views, unbelievable pakikialam. But I have come to a point where I no longer ask for understanding. I've accepted that very few people are open-minded & progressive enough to comprehend.

Today, I only wish for respect. But sometimes, even that is too much to ask (sigh). It's another sad fact I've come to learn – only a handful have the humanity to respect another person (or in our case, another couple) for being “different.”

J and I have long accepted that we're unlike most couples. We don't necessarily live by society's standards. Aside from getting married but not wanting a traditional family, we don't fight – we discuss; we don't have issues about toothpaste and toilet seats – a supposed cliché of married life; we love walking over driving; my husband doesn't mind shopping with me; we love kids but don't want our own (the irony: we're both kid-magnets); we actually enjoy being together 24/7 and have no issues about each other's Me Time; we'd rather live an enriching life than a rich life.

Happiness is living the life you want. If you want kids and you have them, great. If you don't want them and don't have them, perfect. Imagine how it is for a couple who wants kids and can't have any – must be depressing. And what about those who have them only to realize they don't like being Mommy & Daddy after all -- disaster!

It helps that J and I are clear about what we want. We actually talked about being childless on our very first date. I brought it up during the supposed “blind” date 9 years ago. We laid down our cards early in the relationship. No games. The result? We're one of the happiest, most loving married couples we know. And our happiness is not a result of not having kids – I hope that's clear. We are happy because we're living the life we want.



We know it's no joke to raise a child, see the Scary Stats:


Overpopulation:

• 150 people are added every minute, or about 6.6 million people every month.
• Overpopulation is clearly the root of most of our environmental problems -- from wildlife habitat loss and water shortages, to congested roads and suburban sprawl.

Global Warming by the Numbers:

• 15-37%: Amount of plant & animal species that global warming could wipe out by 2050.

Poverty Statistics:

• 80% of humanity live on less than $10 a day.
• 25,000 children die each day due to poverty.

Crime Statistics:

• One Aggravated Assault every 34 seconds
• One Property Crime every 3 seconds
• One Violent Crime every 22 seconds
• One Murder every 34 minutes
• One Robbery every 1 minute
• One Rape every 6 minutes

FOR THE BOOKS

We're both book lovers. My titles: fashion, chic lit, Oprah's Book Club selections, best sellers, Anthony Bourdain. His titles: Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Ayn Rand, Sun Tzu, history, magic realism, leadership, art, architecture, interiors, the classics, biographies, mountaineering, health, psychology, even reference books. Our common titles: travel, advertising, poetry.

This common passion results in book dates -- sometimes in coffee shops (over cake and tea – we're not coffee drinkers), sometimes in book stores, often in bed. We'd both be silent, engrossed in our current read. But whenever we come across an extremely interesting quip, story, information, we'd excitedly read the line or paragraph to the other. An example of simultaneous Me Time and Couple Time.

Currently, I'm into Elizabeth Gilbert's “Eat, Pray, Love” while he's into Wilfred Funk's “Word Origins.”

Gilbert is readable and funny. Her sharing is so honest, so raw, so real I sometimes find myself thinking “I understand. I have been there. I am there.”

I think people have children for all manner of reasons – sometimes out of a pure desire to nurture and witness life, sometimes out of an absence of choice, sometimes in order to hold on to a partner or create an heir, sometimes without thinking about it in any particular way. Not all the reasons to have children are the same, and not all of them are necessarily unselfish. Not all the reasons not to have children are the same, either, though. Nor are all those reasons necessarily selfish. (From “Eat, Pray Love,” 2006.)

The excerpt is a prelude to my very personal next blog entry.

BULOL

J and I have a constant travel companion – a bulol (Ifugao rice god) whom we named, well, Bulol. We try to photograph him in every place we visit - an idea inspired by one of our favorite films, Le fabuleux destin d’ Amelie Poulain (remember the garden gnome who got to travel the world?).

But sometimes, we must admit, we forget to bring him along, hehe (senior moment!).

Bulol's window seat

Bulol at the Batu Caves, Malaysia

Bulol at the Merlion Park, SG

Bulol at the Starfish Island, Honda Bay
Puerto Prinsesa, Palawan

Bulol in Boracay

Bulol inside the Sumaging Caves of Sagada

Bulol by the Sagada Bell

Bulol at The Manor Hotel, Baguio

Bulol at the Burnham Park in Baguio

Bulol at the Bell Tower, Vigan, Ilocos Norte

OUR LOVE NEST

My favorite piece: the living room's huge lantern.
When we saw this in a stall near Asian Finds-Galleria, it was love at first sight!




our sofa's throw pillows



Chinese Man candle holder and a few of our chopsticks



one of our photo boxes



our pantry's tassels
(The pantry was designed by J.)



wardrobe tassels

pretty fans

one of our dining chairs

(The dining table & chairs were designed by J.)

Monk Artwork: a steal from one of Bangkok's Night Street Markets!

Thai Dancer from Chatuchak (we got it for less than 100 Baht!)

Some people have plates, we have bowls.

Here are a few of them.

one of our pretty asian-themed plates

In a few months, we're saying goodbye to our first home -- our cozy Asian-themed one-bedroom apartment -- and moving to our very own condo unit! Over the weekend, I couldn't help but feel a little sentimental while taking photos of our lovely pieces (most of which are great bargain finds!).

FIRST FOUR ANNIVS

J's wedding vow: "I promise to take you on a lifelong journey...
To wherever OUR FEET may take us..."


Sumaging Cave, Sagada

Petronas Twin Towers, KL, Malaysia



Plaza Burgos, Vigan, Ilocos Norte



Pagudpud at sunset

Sabang beach, Palawan

Hiking in Sagada

Hanging coffins of Sagada

DESTINATION: HOME

For the first time, we celebrated our wedding anniversary, our fifth, in bed, at home.

We traveled to celebrate wedded bliss for our first four anniversaries. The First Year, we enjoyed an exciting, tan-inducing 7-day nature trip through Central Palawan -- Puerto Princesa, Sabang and Port Barton. The Second Year we took a laid-back 5-day Northern Exposure through Vigan, Pagudpud and Laoag. The Third Year, we had an unforgettable 6-day Baguio and Sagada adventure. Last year's Fourth Anniversary was celebrated with a fun-filled 4-day honeymoon in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

This year, traveling had to take a back seat because of our top priority for 2009, our anniversary gift to each other -- our very own condo unit! Its turnover is due in two months (so excited!). So, yes, we stayed home (now: our rented apartment) for our new home (soon: our very own condo).

How to enjoy a 4-day Anniversary weekend without leaving the city:

Labor of Love. One morning, I surprised J with breakfast in bed – Schublig cooked in light butter with mashed potato (which I made from scratch, mind you!). He showered me with kisses. But the greater compliment – he finished everything and wanted more!

Spend time with family. We enjoyed an afternoon with my Ma, my sister P and my niece S at The Megamall. P ice-skated (her fave sport) while my niece S enjoyed the kiddie rides (she was laughing out loud!). We treated the girls to two of their favorites – Jollibee Chicken Joy & Krispy Kreme Original Glaze doughnuts. Kids are so easy to please.

Savor surprise finds! J and I chanced upon a (free) Rustan's fashion show at the Shang. I thought the maxi dresses were gorgeous! I also liked the models' tan, make-up and cellulite (Yes, they're human!). J felt the male fashion pieces were too metrosexual, in his words, “bumabading.” But the show was still a treat especially since we both appreciate fashion.

A classic: a movie date. We watched Nicolas Cage's “Knowing,” last full show. I was actually enjoying the movie – ¾ into it, I was scared, nagugulat ako, I was imagining real-life dooms day scenarios, the works – until the disappointing big reveal (WHAT THE...?!). The fun came after the movie as we discussed possible reasons why the film turned into a major disappointment. Producer A: “Let's do a disaster movie!” Producer B: “Let's do a 2009 version of E.T.!” Producer C: “Let's do both!” Very bad idea.

Pamper yourselves. We enjoyed the very relaxing Indian Scalp Massage at The Spa (Php850 each, J's treat). We got a couple's room with no extra charge (yahoo!). The massage is done on ultra comfortable reclining chairs. No need to undress - we had our robes on the whole time. The massage starts on the scalp, then the forehead, ears (sarap!), down the neck, the shoulders then the back. I loved how the massage was so focused. The therapists concentrate on an area and kinakareer talaga niya!

Chocolate. After the massage, we had dinner at Mary Grace. I chose to eat here for the dessert -- my Mary Grace favorite: their ultra fudgy brownies. J had the Rosemary Chicken with couscous and Coke. I had a tomato-based pasta and water (effort to go healthy).

Cocoon. But nothing beats couple time at home where you can do marathons of everything – movie, sleep and sex.

No traveling to a new place, no fancy candle-lit dinners, no five star hotel sex-capades, no expensive gifts. Just all the loving we want.

Nine years as a couple, five years into the marriage, we're both confident we'll stay as happy (or maybe grow even happier) in our world of two. If a couple can laugh together through near-death experiences and tipid times, you can bet they'll remain strong through the best and worst of life. Happy 5th, Baby! Here's to forever.

**Photo: Mine. It's my favorite piece in our Asian-themed apartment.

EHEADS: THE FINAL SET

Pinoy music history was made on March 7, 2009 at the SM Mall of Asia concert grounds with the Eraserheads: The Final Set concert. And I'm happy that J and I were among the 100,000 or so who were part of the momentous experience.

I wore my Sex & The City t-shirt (it's a t-shirt event), my skinny jeans and my silver studded ballet flats. J wore a black tee, military pants, his Samba, and a Levi's trucker jacket with safety pins (a punk subculture thing).

Thanks to GL, we had free VIP-section tickets. We arrived in SM MOA around 7pm so we had time to grab a quick bite at The Big City – a hotdog joint. The posters claimed they were serving imported hotdogs – “ala-New York?” I haven't been to New York but watching too much Discovery Travel & Living – including a mouth-watering, sumptuous feature on US Hotdogs – had me excited! But one's up for major disappointment whenever one sets her expectations high, too high.

We each had bratwurst on a bun with relish, with fries & onion rings, plus iced tea (each meal costs Php120). Sounds like a good hotdog treat, right? Wrong. It tasted so ordinary. I would have been happier with a Purefoods hotdog on stick / on a bun. The deli suasages we buy from the grocery was way tastier. The relish (what relish?!) was almost non-existent. The fries were too soggy. The onion rings looked sorry – too thin (Burger King as the minimum standard). My rating: Laman-tiyan.
Good thing there was the concert to look forward to.

We got in the concert grounds past 8pm. We found a spot near the VIP area's disabled platform , around 150 feet away from the stage (we didn't mind). J considered my safety – he knew I was not a pro at open-air, huge crowd, standing-only rock concerts. He made sure we were near the First Aid Tent.

From “Magasin” to “Huling El Bimbo” (we left after that, we thought it was the last song), we had a blast. The concert was a celebration of Pinoy music, a trip down memory lane, a shared musical experience among generations, a tribute to Francis M, a date J and I enjoyed. We sang with the Eheads and the crowd. We screamed for more. We danced – well, actually I danced with J hugging me from behind. All throughout the Final Set, we also worried about Ely Buendia – will he survive the show? Thank God he did.

The first concert J and I saw was Julia Fordham's (PICC 2000). He was still courting me then. That date was kilig. The Eheads: The Final Set date was rockin'!

---

P.S. from my Hubby J:

J's (rear) entry...considering I'm just riding doggie back, er, piggy back on this blog entry.

This is the end. Or so they say. Despite vastly improving their technical skills as individual musicians, as a group, the Eraserheads still sounded every bit (and beat) like the garage band that they were in the early 90s. With this farewell concert, The Final Set, I think they pretty much ended they way they started – with a bad live performance. At least that is how I remember them, maybe 15 years ago, as virtual unknowns auditioning for regular gigs (or at least to play for pay in between sets of regular band performances) at 70s Bistro, a hole in the wall bar, where I was sitting in a table, a spitting distance from the non-existent stage, forced to listen to Ely's bad singing voice and the bad acoustic play from the rest of the band. It's been long since I've rocked the night away, but here I was, doing it in duet with my wife, on a pair of freebie concert tickets, listening and humming along Ely's bad singing voice and the bad acoustic play from the rest of the band, 'til the Eheads sang their final encore. But between the many sets that came between that distant desolate date and this Final Set, I guess nothing and everything has changed – with the band, with me, and with all of us.

**Photo of SATC shirt & tickets: Taken by me

TRADITIONAL HILOT at THE SPA

I have childhood memories of my Nueva Ecija vacations where my Ma would bring me to a hilot whenever I had fever. The hilot was an old woman who lived in a dark bamboo hut (it was lit only by oil lamps or gaseras). The townsfolk bring the sick to her for alternative healing through a coconut oil-based massage. She can supposedly feel through your pain. Her touch can detect where your sickness is rooted – naipit na ugat, lamig, pilay, kabag, etc. And she's supposed to make you well through her “magical” touch.

I don't remember enjoying these hilot trips – they were painful and pungent experiences for a child. But I do recall getting well after each visit.

Today's spas are offering hilot services and the trend got me curious – could hilot “heal” me now as it did then? Is it the best massage option for my tired, sore, aching muscles?

J and I decided to go to The Spa Trinoma one Saturday evening (February 2009) for their Traditional Hilot Massage (Php 1,200 each for non-members). Our appointment was set for 7:30pm. We arrived at The Spa 7:00pm – just enough time to shower & steam.

I appreciated the set-up – the massage bed was covered with a Filipino batik blanket (instead of the usual white cotton cover); I was wrapped in starched white cotton blankets (instead of the usual towels); and there were candles in the corner wooden table. The details successfully set the mood for my traditional massage. And the actual session did not disappoint either.

J and I always want our massage hard. And our masseuses delivered. Mine was Christy – hope I remembered her name right. She took me back in time with her hilot moves. The difference is now, I actually enjoyed it – bring on the pain! My favorite part was the really hot but soothing wax paper placed on my back and stomach. I'm assuming it was heated with tea candles.

Our massage dates (often on-a-budget) has taken us from neighborhood spas (Lifestyle, Indulgence, Feet for Us, Tonton, City Lifestyles, etc) to mall spas (The Spa, Dermalogica, Body Tune, Ayuthaia, Nail Spa, etc), to authentic Thai massage experieces in Bangkok (foot only and full body), to our treasured foot reflexology massages in Kuala Lumpur (it was the perfect ending to our day-long walks with the salon perfectly located on the ground floor of our hotel), and our favorite Baguio spa experieces – we like how Baguio therapists seem to all be consistently into it (we get hard when we ask for "hard").

The Spa's Traditional Hilot Massage is curretly number one on our list (it's on equal footing as the Baguio massages). Beyond relaxing, it was therapeutic. I don't know if it's just my childhood memory of the hilot but I felt “healed” after the session. And if what you think impacts on how you feel then I got my money's worth.

We're definitely going back for more heal-lot experiece.

What we've tried on our past The Spa dates: Peppermint Foot Scrub (Too cold for my already literally cold feet – I prefer a warm foot massage.); Aromascalp & Shoulder Massage (Love this! Wish the scalp massage could go on forever!); Swedish Massage (OK); Deep Tissue Massage (OK); Twin Massage (I was disappointed! My expectations were too high.); Volcanic Rock Massage (You'll feel the benefits the next day!); Traditional Hilot (Love it!).


What we love:
- facilities (we've only been to the Libis & Trinoma branches)
- service (very professional, friendly, attentive staff)
- their ginger tea is my favorite

What we not-so-love:
- The Spa closes at 9pm. That's sad for weary bodies coming from work.