And my most dishonorable fault of all: Though it takes me a long while to get to this point, the moment I have decided that somebody is unforgivable, that person will very likely remain unforgiven for life – all too often cut off forever, without fair warning, explanation, or another chance.
It stung me to read it, and I’d certainly never codified my failings for anyone so honestly before…
…People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say “I can work around that. I can make something out of that?” Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.
I’m not suggesting that anyone should learn to tolerate abuse, neglect, disrespect, alcoholism, philandering or contempt…
…What I am talking about is learning how to accommodate your life as generously as possible around a basically decent human being who can sometimes be an unmitigated pain in the ass.
-- Elizabeth Gilbert, "Committed," Chapter Four (2010)
1 comment:
Nice! A timely post-nuptial read :)
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