15 May 2009


The future is no laughing matter. And yet very few seem to understand why we are childless by choice.

J and I don't have the heart to gamble on our child's future. Unless we can promise him or her the world he or she deserves, we're not taking chances.

Our child deserves better, see the scary statistics at the end of my entry (warning: it's not for the faint of heart).

We've taken the road less traveled. It's a rough road that's often marked by people's discrimination, insults, suspicions, pushy questions, unsolicited advice, stupid world views, unbelievable pakikialam. But I have come to a point where I no longer ask for understanding. I've accepted that very few people are open-minded & progressive enough to comprehend.

Today, I only wish for respect. But sometimes, even that is too much to ask (sigh). It's another sad fact I've come to learn – only a handful have the humanity to respect another person (or in our case, another couple) for being “different.”

J and I have long accepted that we're unlike most couples. We don't necessarily live by society's standards. Aside from getting married but not wanting a traditional family, we don't fight Рwe discuss; we don't have issues about toothpaste and toilet seats Рa supposed clich̩ of married life; we love walking over driving; my husband doesn't mind shopping with me; we love kids but don't want our own (the irony: we're both kid-magnets); we actually enjoy being together 24/7 and have no issues about each other's Me Time; we'd rather live an enriching life than a rich life.

Happiness is living the life you want. If you want kids and you have them, great. If you don't want them and don't have them, perfect. Imagine how it is for a couple who wants kids and can't have any – must be depressing. And what about those who have them only to realize they don't like being Mommy & Daddy after all -- disaster!

It helps that J and I are clear about what we want. We actually talked about being childless on our very first date. I brought it up during the supposed “blind” date 9 years ago. We laid down our cards early in the relationship. No games. The result? We're one of the happiest, most loving married couples we know. And our happiness is not a result of not having kids – I hope that's clear. We are happy because we're living the life we want.

We know it's no joke to raise a child, see the Scary Stats:


  • 150 people are added every minute, or about 6.6 million people every month.
  • Overpopulation is clearly the root of most of our environmental problems -- from wildlife habitat loss and water shortages, to congested roads and suburban sprawl.

Global Warming by the Numbers:

  • 15-37%: Amount of plant & animal species that global warming could wipe out by 2050.

Poverty Statistics:

  • 80% of humanity live on less than $10 a day.
  • 25,000 children die each day due to poverty.

Crime Statistics:

  • One Aggravated Assault every 34 seconds
  • One Property Crime every 3 seconds
  • One Violent Crime every 22 seconds
  • One Murder every 34 minutes
  • One Robbery every 1 minute
  • One Rape every 6 minutes

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