In her new book "Marriage Confidential", Pamela Haag examines the growing trend of 'semi-happy' married life. If you're coupled up - or want to be - you've got to read this. -- page 192, Glamour, May 2011.
Excerpts from the magazine interview...
Glamour: Why did you decide to write this book?
Pamela Haag: I was drawn to it by the marriages that I saw every day, including my own. I'm married to a great guy, and he's a wonderful husband. But nonetheless, over the years, I haven't felt totally fulfilled by marriage. So I conducted a survey of almost 2,000 people and found that many of them felt the same way.
Glamour: Is that the "semi-happy marriage"?
Pamela Haag: Yes. It's not that the marriage is terrible, with people who are arguing or miserable. But they're stuck in an ambivalent stage... "Are you going to get any better, or is this it?" That's the soul of the semi-happy question: Is this all there is?
Glamour: So how does one avoid falling into a semi-happy rut?
Pamela Haag: It's more about how you live in a marriage than whom you choose. I think people in happy marriages live like they're on vacation all the time, in the sense that they're paying attention to each other and trying to have some fun. Marriage should be enjoyable rather than just hard work.
I can't agree on this line enough: I think people in happy marriages live like they're on vacation all the time, in the sense that they're paying attention to each other and trying to have some fun.
For more of my two cents worth on the topic, you may read the following blog entries: (1) Making Marriage Work; (2) Life Partner; (3) Stay Silly.
I say - never settle when settling down.
Wishing every one lots of love, love, love!